The Misadventures of dating in a digital world.

Being single has presented itself to me with many challenges, the biggest challenge I find is that men want me to categorize my dating preferences when in fact, I dont have many outside of the physical perspective. I've dated all types, races, socioeconomic backgrounds etc... So my adventures in dating world of almost 2 years has taken me to the online world, and what a world it is. I say that to say its extremely interesting and if you aren't careful you will either be very disturbed by what you find or you can have a since of humor about it all. It really can throw you for a loop. I've had guys present themselves online as they weren't in real life, meaning... We'd chat, get to the formalities out of the way. They'd say they hadn't been in a relationship in over a year, never married, worked out 3-4x a week, never drank or smoked but when we met, I noticed the tan line on his left ring finger, he was 30lbs overweight, said he was 25 but looked 40, had to step out every 5 minutes for a cigarette break and when he went to take some cash out his wallet I noticed a family photo. No bullshit, I've lived all of this, sometimes all at once. I've quickly learned that with online dating, people present themselves as who they'd like to be (even if its only 5 years ago) rather than who they are today.


Don't even get me started on this new sensation called "Pexting" (penis texting) like seriously guy...why?! (For those who dont know pexting is the act of taking a picture of your penis and text messaging that to a girl) Seeing your penis isn't revolutionary. Seen one you seem them all, so yours wont change my life. It will just make me forget you that much quicker, and you will also be fodder for me and my girlfriends to chat about. That and you're penis picture will be circulated to my girls (and some boys) faster than you can say "uncircumcised".


So in addition to my previous blog about defining love etc etc...I've also narrowed my ideal guy to the following paragraph. I find it comical because it answers nothing and everything at the same time and when guys have read it, they seemed to have found what they were looking for, when i'm thinking to myself, how did this ambiguous paragraph help you... It is as follows:


"My ideal guy is someone who is like minded with me in health, perspective, love, ambition, adventure and peacefulness. My ideal guy isn't easily distracted from his goals and has a plan to achieve them. He's focused, task oriented, compassionate, passionate and knows that life is only what he can make of it. My ideal guy is affectionate and lets me know where he stands on any given moment. My ideal guy is faithful, strong willed and not afraid to call me out on my shit. My ideal guy tells me how it is, not what he thinks I may want to hear. He's not timid but not overtly aggressive or domineering. My ideal guy hangs with his friends but when he comes home, I can tell how much he had missed me. My ideal guy is creative, loves to go out and people watch, his perspective can be black or white but knows i live in the gray area, my ideal guy knows that a way to a woman's heart is patience and understanding..."


Maybe i'm too honest with who I am, online or otherwise. Maybe by some stretch of the imagination I expect people to be the same way, be who you say you are as there is nothing wrong with it. Call me old fashioned. But if you can allow yourself to forget the taboo of online dating and understand what it really is, you will understand why millions may swear by it. Its filled a niche, that void of trying to have an awkward conversation with a guy or girl that interests you, it gives you a behind the scenes look at how they view themselves. Think of it this way, if there wasn't such a demand for sites such as Match, the POF's, eHarmony's of the world they wouldn't be making millions with the services they provide, whether free or otherwise. If there weren't millions of people searching, wanting & needing an easier way to meet and communicate with like minded folks and break those barriers that quite often you find in a bar, club or local watering hole these sites wouldn't exist.. Hell many people do it just to get out of their usual social circle. It has a proven formula with the common denominator of one thing, people are incredibly lonely in this world and so desperately want acceptance and validation of their existence. 


Now I'm not saying this online thing will work for me, if anything I get a kick out of observing people when they least suspect it. Maybe i'm over thinking this whole dating thing in totality, but surely if there was an easier way to date, I would have found it by now. The jury is still out on whether i'll continue my online dating ventures but, it hasn't disappointed in my observation of the human experience, if anything its helped me understand men (people) moreso than I thought I had.


To be continued...